A Grave Story

Over this very long winter, like many of you I suspect, Lebasi and I found ourselves running out of ways to entertain ourselves. So naturally, we decided to re-do our living wills. This turned out to be no small matter. And, as it turns out, not that entertaining. Mostly because we two have such different attitudes towards planning ahead.

I have (proudly) described my view toward dealing with potential obstacles as “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.” Whereas, Lebasi needs to plan (my interpretation) as if the bridge will be washed out and the replacement bridge is on back order because of supply chain issues. You can imagine how much fun we have negotiating this landscape.

In trying to figure out where our attitudes stem from, I’ve done some noodling around into our backgrounds. Ancestry.com didn’t help much other than to remind me that while my forebears were running from Cossacks, Lebasi’s were sipping mint julips somewhere. But I did discover one salient factoid in Lebasi’s background that might be relevant. She had been a Brownie and a Girl Scout and evidently, the Girl Scout’s motto is, “Be prepared.” So that may explain Lebasi’s inclinations. (Curiously, the Boy Scouts of America has the same motto. Although if you read the fine print it includes the phrase, to be molested.) The only scouting I did was keeping an eye out for any of those Cossacks that might had made their way to Brooklyn.

In any event, we worked our way through most of the issues that may present themselves when doom comes to visit us. This was particularly fraught when we had to consider how badly each of wanted to stay alive while entrusting some of that decision making to the other. Poor Lebasi wasn’t aware that she was dealing with someone who in some parlances is known by the sobriquet, “Pull the plug Neil.”

Undeterred, Lebasi has continued to make plans for the great hereafter. Some time before I knew her, she had bought a few grave plots in Greenwood Cemetery in Brooklyn. This is prime real estate; and talk about location! A few weeks back we went to visit her (and probably my) future home. Lebasi was absolutely gleeful when she confirmed what she had suspected . . . an unobstructed view of the Statue of Liberty! It was all I could do to constrain myself from letting her know that the Statue couldn’t be seen from a prone position. Sometimes, I can be awfully nice.

But her plans have not stopped there; a headstone has been picked out and if I have it right, all the carving is done leaving only an end date to be filled in. A bit macabre for my taste. I, of course, in keeping with my character, have made no plans whatsoever. But as I think about it, that may be a pretty big mistake. I suspect that when the time comes, I won’t be in bridge crossing shape. Possibly, I should reconsider my attitude and make some plans in advance. Yes, of course! Headstones ‘R Us™, here I come!

Tags: greenwood cemetery