Bible Stories

I think I’m going to move. To somewhere in Tennessee. No kidding. This isn’t an action that I’d take lightly but I read something last week in The Times that makes me think that Tennessee has to be a fabulous place to live.  It seems that its State Legislature just passed a bill making the Bible the official state book. The place must be like an Eden because I can only assume that this means that they’ve  already dealt with all the kinds of problems other states are having;  you know . . .things like budget shortfalls, crime, unemployment, poverty, race issues,  income inequality, affordable health care coverage and adequate education.  I mean, why else would they spend their time on something like this unless all the other items on their “to do” list had already been crossed off.  That would be silly.  Or stupid, no?

But before I run out and rent a U-Haul, there’s a couple of things I’d like to know.  For example, are we talking New Testament or Old Testament Bible?  This could be important to me. Because the next to last thing I want to feel in the place that I call home, is that I’m being marginalized or disregarded.  Even with all the other apparent utopian trappings (no poverty, crime, etc.),  I’d hate to find myself in a situation where I’d have to worry about being a distinct minority as a New York Jew.  Then again, I’m probably being overly cautious about this. I’m certain that the Legislature wouldn’t be dealing with something as trivial as this Bible naming act if there were issues of discrimination that they hadn’t already successfully tackled. That would be insane. No?

All Those In Favor, Say ....

All Those In Favor, Say ….

Before I head West (it is West, right?), I have some unfinished business here.  Now that I know that there is such a thing as a State book, before I leave, why shouldn’t I put my two cents in for what I think would be a perfect nominee for the State Book of New York.   Actually, I’m going to put in four cents; two for Ironicman Vol. IV and two for Ironicman Vol. V.   Okay, okay . . . I can see where that may be a little egotistical.  So how about I nominate only one of those volumes as the Book for New York City; or maybe just for the borough of Brooklyn?  I suppose that may still be a bit too . . . too, what’s the word . . .  too grandiose, yes that’s it.  So I’ll scale it back even further to maybe suggesting that one of the Ironicmans become the official book of my Co-op; or maybe of just the fifth floor of my Co-op.  Yes, that’s it!  At the annual meeting in a few weeks, I’m going to propose that the 130 Eighth Avenue Housing Corp. pass a resolution naming Ironicman Vol. V as the official book of the fifth floor.

I can only hope there isn’t anything more important on the agenda.  Just as, it appears, there isn’t in my soon-to-be-adopted home.


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