The Divine Comedy

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Last week, Yduj and I went to see some stand up at the Gotham Comedy Club.  We were assigned a small table for four which put me on amber alert because it seemed likely that some strangers were  going to enter my cloistered life.  And sure enough, within a few minutes a young couple took the unoccupied seats at our table  We kind of nodded at one another and for a brief moment I thought everything would be okay…meaning that we would ignore each other for the next several hours.

But soon after, someone (not me) asked, “Have you been here before?”  This, unfortunately, opened some floodgates, the controls of which were out of my hands.  On their end, the young man was doing most of the talking because his girlfriend seemed to be really stoned; on our end, it was Yduj because…because…well, because I’m me.  It quickly became clear to me that our newfound friends were very badly mismatched.  He seemed like a straight arrow while she seemed dark; very dark. If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, he was from the Long Island part of Mars and she was from a very downtown part of Venus. I almost felt that I had an obligation to explain to them that they could save themselves a lot of trouble down the road and would be better off splitting up sooner rather than later. Possibly right after the main act finished his routine was what I was thinking.

As part of the “have you been…” conversation, he told us about a diner located on the same block as the club that is filled with amazing memorabilia.  At this, his girlfriend perked up and the two began to speak to us as if we were tourists telling us that we just had to go there; but not on a weekend because it was so crowded.  The woman kept repeating that  the place was just so “kish”.  I had no idea what  she was talking about up until about the fifth, “kish”, at which point I realized that she had been referring to the term, “kitch”.

It was clear to me that she was in love with that word; it was also just as clear to me that it would be all I could do not to correct her.  I don’t mean that as a figure of speech;  really, I had to literally stop doing anything else just so I could concentrate on keeping my mouth shut.  Which allowed her to continue with some more “kishes”, the final one of which included her declaration that, “I’m not even Jewish and I love kish.”  Now I was really being tested.  I thought of countering, “Funny,  I’m not even French and I too love quiche.”

After the show, I spent way too long going on about the “kish” business. But Yduj lovingly did suggest that whenever I do leave the house, it might be a good idea to bring a deck of my “Pardon me….” cards so I wouldn’t have to live with the frustrations that seem to follow me around.  Unfortunately, the way things are going, I don’t think one deck is going to be near enough.  Really, how could I possibly foresee that I’d need a card that read, “Pardon me, you probably don’t realize it…but when you say you’re not Jewish, yet love “kish”, are you sure you don’t you mean that you love a “knish?”

Funny...he doesn't LOOK Jewish.

Funny…he doesn’t LOOK Jewish.

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6 Responses to “The Divine Comedy”

  1. Rob Says:

    Oh man, I like this one. The horror of being seated with strangers! Really, there should be a law against it.

  2. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    And then, there’s the problem of being seated with people you know. Where will it end?!

  3. Bob Says:

    I really resisted this until right now at 2a.m Friday. I have been thinking about this since thursday night. So pardon me, but in the first sentence of your next to last paragraph aka the 4th paragraph from the top, you left out the word “with.” Ahhhh, now I can sleep.

    p.s. did you sneak in an extra “with” into your reply to make up for the one you left out in the story??? Well it doesn’t count.

  4. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    i’ve been looking for an editor (particularly one who has trouble sleeping) for 4 years. You’re hired!! The pay is minimal….but you’ll find that correcting people—-priceless!

  5. Ymmij Says:

    If only Campbell’s had ventured beyond soup, Warhol might have given the world his “Knitsch.”

  6. janetoo Says:

    Oh, Neil, the floodgates you have opened. As for me, I’m not Christian but I do love a yuletide crish.

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