The Real Estate Nazi

I was in the office a few weeks ago when a couple came in and asked Luap if Garfield Realty was handling any commercial spaces for rent.  They were looking to open a day care center.  Although I was paying attention to what they were saying, I made sure that I continued to face my wall so as not to get involved in an actual conversation.

Luap had nothing to show them but spent some time going over their criteria and offering them whatever guidance he could.  And then, as they were leaving one of them asked, “So, what are the demographics of this neighborhood?”  I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.  This is Park Slope for gods sake!!   The most child centric neighborhood on the planet!  How could anyone who was thinking of investing a ton of money in a business related to child care not know that.  I bet they  must have tripped on a half-dozen strollers just getting into our office.  It was all I could do to restrain myself from turning around and screaming  at them: “NO SOUP FOR YOU!”

But Luap was very gracious and patient with them and went through the litany of the child’s paradise they had stumbled upon.  In someone else’s life, this small transaction might have been an eye opener, a seminal moment.  I’m sure someone has written a sappy article in Readers Digest or shown up on Oprah with a story that parallels this one and ended it with something along the lines of, “I knew at that instant that it was time to move on. That somewhere along the line I had changed.  And that’s the moment when I decided to devote myself to finding a cure for all the diseases in Africa.”

But of course, this is me; and the truth is that my reaction would have been the same ten years ago. I haven’t changed that much. And, in any event I’ve already moved on…kind of. And the only cure I’m looking for right now is the one for my sinus infection.

I told this story to Yduj and we’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of it.  Probably a day doesn’t go by when we’re not shouting at some one or some thing, “NO LEFT TURN FOR YOU!”, or NO UMBRELLA FOR YOU!” or…whatever;  having a lot of fun amusing ourselves with this silly Seinfeldism. More correctly, I should say I was amused right up until I heard, “NO SEX FOR YOU!”.  There’s nothing funny about that.




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