The Stomach That Walks Like A Man

I’m referring, of course, to Newt Gingrich (acronym:Went Griching) who has become the latest darling of extreme conservatives in the Republican party.  It’s astounding that the Religious Right has decided to look the other way when it comes to Gingrich’s considerable transgressions.  As I try to understand how they’re able to reconcile their holier than thou  moral attitudes with the embrace of this über sinner I can’t help but feel that the story of Lot would be a useful metaphor here.  As I remember the tale, Lot struck a bargain with God in which God agreed to spare Sodom and Gomorrah if Lot could produce ten righteous men living there. And when he couldn’t, Lot persuaded God to agree to an ever decreasing number until it became clear that he could  produce not even one righteous soul.   And so, the cities were destroyed.  (If I’m wrong about this bible story blame one of my Hebrew School teachers, not me.)

I’m not exactly sure  how the Lot metaphor applies here…maybe it’s the converse or the inverse or something like that, but I was wondering at what point NG’s sins would become just too much weight for the Far Right to tolerate in its standard-bearer. (I guess “the straw that broke the camel’s back” is the most appropriate adage here–forget the Lot thing.)  Three marriages, transgressions involving one wife, and then a second one seem to not overly concern our righteous friends because apparently, he had sought Redemption when he converted to Catholicism.   I guess had he been a pedophile or something even worse,  all that would also be  expunged from his “permanent record”  by virtue of the conversion.  What a great religion!

But where he seems to have screwed up big time is the stuff he’s done since his Redemption, i.e. lobbying for Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae; accepting the notion of global warming caused by human activities; advancing some progressive ideas about health care and immigration policy.  What a schmuck!  Had he waited until after he committed these “sins” to get Redeemed, he’d be home free.

NG’s wife,  Calista (anagram: Acts Ail) is a bit of a mystery.  I know she’s a lot younger than he is and is the woman he left his second wife for, but not much beyond that.   I’m not even sure if she was Redeemed or not.  But, given her part in NG’s misdeeds, one would think that she isn’t the First Lady the Republicans have in mind when they spout their moral authority.  So why with all this baggage are the Gingrichs’ being swooned over?  The answer is simple–the Far Right passionately HATE BARACK OBAMA!!   They would prefer anyone short of a serial killer (unredeemed, of course) to Obama.  And why?  Just because he’s a minority?  Come on…a lot of them must know someone…or know someone who knows someone, who’s left-handed.  I think it’s about time that they got over that.

Ed Ames (of the Ames Brothers) as Lot (instead of an Indian...his usual gig)

 

Oh my God...is he Jewish now!?

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4 Responses to “The Stomach That Walks Like A Man”

  1. roberta berman Says:

    I thinke this is your best. His wife looks like a plastic doll

  2. Rich Says:

    What’s the deal. Are you now shilling for Pillsbury?

  3. Mike McPartland Says:

    I guess the Religious Right prefers a penitent Christian to a Mormon cultist. (And just how many wives does Romney have?)

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