Occupy Garfield Realty

Long before there was an Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement,  Garfield Realty was occupied.  Although there are some differences in the two movements, it’s amazing  uncanny how similar they are.  For example, we’re both occupying places that belong to someone else (okay, okay– we pay rent for ours) and we’re both doing our occupying seven days a week.  Yes, it’s true that we at Garfield go home at night…but let’s not nitpick.  Also, Occupy Garfield Realty (OGR), like OWS,  is more or less a leaderless, loosely democratic organization.

While both movements’ goals are remarkably vague and undefined, we,  like our comrades at  OWS,  are ferocious in our distaste for the large corporations that threaten to set the agenda for the country.  Here at OGR the object of our enmity is not so much  the banking industry–ours instead is directed at the large corporate real estate offices that have infiltrated Park Slope.  Yes, I’m talking about the Corcorans’ and the Douglas Ellimans’ that have moved into our small neighborhood and have tried to run the “mom and pop” agencies out of business.  An aside: Garfield Realty has never been a “mom and pop” enterprise…more a mom and “pop” one.  (Actually, we now refer to ourselves as a “boutique” agency–somehow that makes me feel like we’re selling miniskirts and halters or things like that.)  We are different (so far) from OWS in that we don’t have an array of clever placards to display in our occupation. But as time goes on, I expect our outrage will find its expression in our own and unique ways.

Another incredible striking parallel between our movements is that we’re both obsessed with percentages.  OWS, as everyone knows, is the quintessential home of the 99 percent.  As you may also be aware, OGR has for many years been the home of the 6 percent.  (Unfortunately, lately it seems that we’re often the home of the 5 percent and sometimes less.)   Yet, despite the differences in our percentages, the occupants here at OGR (at least most of us) stand with our friends at OWS; we intend to occupy Garfield Realty until our unspecified demands are met and are prepared to be here each and every day for as long as it takes (although we won’t be here on Christmas… or New Years…and probably not on Chanukah).




8 Responses to “Occupy Garfield Realty”

  1. Ymmij Says:

    Shouldn’t it be “Occupy Dleifrag Ytlaer”? What an indiscretion.

  2. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    possibly… but i’ve found that it’s near impossible to cash a check made out to Dleifrag Ytlaer. fuckin’ Knabitic!

  3. Rob Says:

    Haha, yeah “boutique” is one of the worst new adjectives people are using to describe things like law firms and real-estate agencies, etc. Funny piece!

  4. Imim Says:

    Isn’t OWS the home of the 99%? Or is everything backwards in your blog?

    • iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

      either this was a trick blog…to see if anyone really reads it. or i’m an idiot. turns out …that’s the case. i soooo need an ediitor.

      nice to hear from you…now off to fix the blog.

  5. roberta berman Says:

    Do you spend most of your day thinking up such trivia?

  6. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    No! Just mondays, wednesdays and thursdays. And sometimes Fridays.

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