Weights and Measures

I read something the other day that I can’t get out of my mind.  Apparently, studies have shown that for every inch shorter than 5’ 10” a man is, he must make an additional $40,000 per year to be equally attractive to women.  In other words, a man who is 5’ 7” would need to earn an additional $120,000 per year to be as desirable as he would be if he were 5’ 10” tall.

This was great news for me!  Assuming the converse is true, a man whose height is greater than 5/10” would be just as appealing to women even though he earned $40,000 per year less for each inch taller than 5’ 10” he is.  When asked how tall I am, for the sake of convenience (and modesty), I always say that I’m six feet tall.  But the truth is, I’m six feet and ½ inch tall.  That ½ inch translates to another $20,000 I don’t have to earn.  If my math is correct, I can earn $100,000 less than if the same me were only 5’ 10” with no diminution in my attractiveness to the women of the world. Another inch or so– and with some sound investments– I think I could be looking at a very, very cushy retirement.

This kind of research really interests me—both in the abstract and in the specific (meaning– what’s in it for me?). Surprisingly, there doesn’t seem to be any correlative financial statistics that relate to women, i.e., how much a woman earns doesn’t appear to be of consequence in affecting her attractiveness.  Even in this age of dawning egalitarianism, women cannot make up for physical drawbacks by earning wads of cash.  Until there is some sea change in the world of romance, a woman’s looks, breast size and waist-hip ratio will continue to run the show.

As a man, I feel fortunate that women seem to view a man’s appeal as a smorgasbord from which to choose.  Unlike vapid men, they’re not interested only in how you look.  They also care about how tall you are and how much you make. Given this more flexible attitude, I bet there are tons of other ways for men to increase their appeal. Although I haven’t found any studies that support this, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that fat guys are less appealing than thinner ones; and that, as with height, there’s some greater amount of money one could earn for each waistline inch above say, 35” that would compensate for a big belly.

Based on the height calculus, I don’t think it would be unreasonable to assign a value of $20,000 for each inch above or below that 35” standard.  This would be even more great news for me. I’m thin!  Depending on the day and on the manufacturer of the pants I’m wearing, I’m either a 32” or 33” waist size.  This means that there could be, at a minimum, another $40,000 coming my way.

I’m not sure what to do with all this information (or for that matter, all this money).  But I really ought to do something fairly soon.  For sure, I’m not getting any taller and, in fact, it’s likely that gravity will at some point make its mark on my spine.  It’s also probable that there’ll come a time when I’ll begin to put on weight.  Then again, even as these things come to pass, there may be a silver lining.  Giving up all that extra income that had been attributable to my height and thinness will put me in a lower tax bracket.  Who knows…maybe that’s another thing some women might find attractive.

World Tallest Man at 8′ 2″ (You do the math!)

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3 Responses to “Weights and Measures”

  1. Mike McPartland Says:

    For your information, I recently read that women are attracted to men who wear red jackets more than any other color. I have found this to be true and easier to deal with than height, weight, symmetry, and salary. Maybe you should try it.

  2. Jose Maria Says:

    I just saw that in an HBO doc. When strangers

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