Back To Blueberries

For want of anything better to do, I was watching  TV while I was on the treadmill at the gym the other day.  The shows have close captioning but the commercials don’t.  So I found myself watching a silent, non-captioned advertisement for one of those many drugs that are going to make my life so much better.  The ad showed an older (not-so-great-looking) man with a young, attractive woman at a wedding.  I assumed that the purpose of the ad was to show that with this magic drug, you would feel and appear incredibly vibrant despite your chronological age;  that if you swallowed the little pill,  being an older (not-so great-looking) man wouldn’t prevent you from hooking up with a pretty, much younger woman.  

It dawned on me  later that the (not-so-great-looking) man was the father of the bride.  Which means that your (almost) favorite blogger is an idiot.  I couldn’t understand how I could have so badly mis-perceived this.  Obviously, my brain has taken a bad turn…probably from having spent too much time in that gym.    The last time I noticed this kind of failing , I went on an all  blueberry diet (   I think it may be time to return to the blueberry regimen.    But now, there’s an additional option available.  A new bagel emporium (which  has changed my life…a sad commentary) opened not long ago near my office.  One of the offerings is blueberry bagels.  I love bagels.  And obviously, I need blueberries.  I thought that this could be that elusive win/win situation which comes along  just once in a long while.   But as with all too many things, all that glitters is not gold (Sam Stein: circa  1952-56; 1959, 1961)  A little bit of research  has turned up the following information:  I’d need to eat about 37 blueberry bagels a day to get the same amount of blueberry medicine from just 1/2 quart of blueberries in the raw.  That’s too many.  Way too many.  In fact, if I ate that many bagels, I’d probably need to be at the gym a lot more than I am now…which would in turn further damage my grey (British) matter and create the need to eat  even more blueberry bagels.  Talk about being on a treadmill…

Not A Moment Too Soon


3 Responses to “Back To Blueberries”

  1. Arbee Says:

    What else could one better do then watch television, while on the treadmill, without causing that particular form of exercise to feel horribly interminable? Oh yes, I guess reading. Any other suggestions?

  2. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    rich… i was hoping someone else would weigh in here, but…

    another thing (apart from TV) i do to distract myself is to count the number of my (living) friends from college. you can imagine how long that takes.

  3. Mike McPartland Says:

    I must be another idiot, because I saw the same commercial twice (on mute as always) and thought the same thing: An older guy getting lucky with a young bride. Maybe for us old idiots, it’s just the fulfillment of a subconscious desire like a dream. Or would it be a nightmare?

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