Tears, Tears and More Tears

There was an article in the paper the other week that I found both interesting and confusing.  The article which was in the Science section of The Times was titled, “In Women’s Tears, a Chemical That Says, ‘Not Tonight, Dear’ “, and cited research that indicated that when men  smell the tears of a woman who has been crying, they have a significant reduction in sexual arousal.  The part of the article that had me scratching my head was that the “Not tonight dear….”, seemed to be emanating  from a man.  I must have read the article sixteen or seventeen times to see if I had this straight.  And apparently, I did.  Well, based on my life experience, this was confusing almost to the point of being absurd.   (I pretty much reserve my  “Not tonight dear”s  for requests along the lines of, “Are you going to wash the dishes you left in the sink?”)

Now the interesting part was the finding that a crying woman is a sexual turn-off.  That hasn’t been my experience but since I represent such a small statistical sample, I polled the guys in the  office and surprisingly (to the researchers) they were in the same camp as I was.  In fact, our collective experience is that consoling a crying woman is more apt to lead to a sexual encounter than …than… well, a  whole lot of other things.  I know that it’s “The Paper of Record”, but I’m now very close to cancelling my subscription to The Times.

In the article, it was mentioned that the researchers also wanted to see if there was some element of men’s tears that might influence sexual arousal in women.  I thought that might yield some interesting and possibly really useful information.  However, the research was stalled because they were having trouble finding men criers. So I decided to look into this aspect on my own.  Unfortunately, the petri dish that is Garfield Realty wasn’t of any use in  this matter…no one here seems to be that sensitive.  And since I don’t personally know John Boehner, the only male person I could think of that might help in my research was my grandson.   You see, Julian can sometimes be a bit of a crybaby.  And from what I can tell, it certainly does appear that a male’s tears are a turn-off.   He’s a cute kid…but I never see him with any girls.  So, what else can it be?   Yes, I know, his sense of humor is a little….how shall we say.. a little childish.  (Women usually love a guy with a sense of humor–unless, of course, he’s Woody Allen.)  But I don’t think that’s it.  I’m pretty sure it’s the tears that are keeping the babe(ie)s away.  Fortunately, he’s still pretty young so there’s a reasonable chance that he’ll learn to “man up.”  And I assume he’ll develop a sense of humor.  But really….someone has got to talk to him about that tongue thing.



2 Responses to “Tears, Tears and More Tears”

  1. dave Says:

    where do you find all this dribble to write about

  2. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    dave… that’s a good question. this dribble … I usually find on the basketball court. The drivel stuff …i find that all around me.

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