Surrogates ‘R Us

An article in The Times got my attention the other day.  (What else is new?)  It was a piece about the latest effort by upper middle class parents to ease the lives of their children as well as their own.   It seems that some parents are now hiring tutor-like adults to oversee their children doing their homework;  helping  them  keep focused and organized.  More or less, the kind of thing that parents used to do.  Unfortunately, the family that was featured had a very Jewish sounding last name.  In the ‘good for the Jews/bad for the Jews’ world that I sometimes inhabit… this was definitely bad for the Jews.  Why in the world this family would choose to have themselves highlighted in this way  is a mystery to me.  Along with the article, there’s a photo of the  son, Zach (or one of those names) who is 13,  shown with this surrogate parent.  I know that at that age my kids would have sooner died than be seen as coddled by their parents.  It was humiliating enough to them that they even had parents.  I guess the world has changed while I wasn’t looking.

As with many of these sort of “news” articles in The Times, I wonder if this is just some anomalous event that makes for a good story or if in fact, there’s a movement afoot.  It’s often really hard to tell.  But,  just in case this is just the tip of a new world  iceberg,  I see a tremendous business opportunity here.  And since the next number of months is traditionally a very slow time in the real estate business, I’m going to try to get in on the action.

Obviously, I already have the name for this new concern…now it’s just a question of staffing.  Fortunately, just in this small Garfield Realty office are a number of people with many of the necessary surrogate skills for dealing with family issues.  For example, Luap is a fantastic baker.  For those families who don’t have the time  to spend an afternoon baking toll house cookies with their kids…he’s your man!  Charming, erudite and also able to mix drinks, if necessary.   And Zil, who is as close to a girly-girl we have here (okay, okay… she’s our only girl), would be the perfect  person to go clothes shopping with a teenager.  That might be just the way to  avoid that mother-daughter dynamic that  sometimes can make that outing so fraught.

As for me, I always loved playing ball with my kids.  So, if there’s a lazy afternoon and there’s some kid on the Upper West Side (or preferably, Tribeca) who wants to “play catch” and there’s no one around to do that with them,  I’m just the guy for the job.  I know it’s not good business but I’d even do it for free.

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2 Responses to “Surrogates ‘R Us”

  1. bob Says:

    I think you’ve uncovered something big. Bigger than Watergate…”Surrogate”
    Hey, while all you folks are out surrogating. I’d be happy to come in and be the surrogate realtor.

    • iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

      boB… i’m happy to share with you (and i mean split) whatever the surrogate realtor makes here. it HAS to be more than the actual realtor is making.

      while you’re surrogating…can i play at an ad agency?

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