Arnold’s Shorts*

Last week sometime, I  showered at Yduj’s house and found myself with no fresh underwear.  I asked if her son Nad, who is away at college, had any that I could borrow.  She quickly presented me with a fresh pair of  crisp white boxer shorts which seemed almost  new.  I checked the label to see what size they were and was stunned to see the number, “34”.  Not Small, Medium or Large but a numbered waist size.  In the world of men’s underwear, this is unheard of.  I then looked further at the label to see where they came from;  if I was stunned before, I was now almost apoplectic when I saw the name, B. Altman & Co.   Altman’s  has been out of business for over twenty years!   My mind began racing, trying make sense of what I had come across.  At best, I was holding a valuable collectible in my hands; at worst…well,  you’ll see,  ’cause that’s how these things usually turn out. 

I asked Yduj where Nad had gotten the boxers.  I knew what was coming but hoped against hope that it wasn’t.   She explained that Nad’s father Arnold, her ex-husband, had passed them on to him.  (How they were so intact after all these years is anyone’s guess.  Maybe they were artisanal underwear.  That would explain the exact sizing also). That was bad news….really bad news. Made so much worse because  I know Arnold .  In an entirely unrelated context.  And now I had the really, really unpleasant thought that  my “boys” would be hanging out in pretty much the same place that his  “boys” had spent God knows how much time.  

I considered passing on the underwear but I really wasn’t in the mood to go au naturel.   I also did a quick calculation and figured that they’d probably been washed several hundred times.  And after all, as I often remind myself, “any short in a storm”.  

 

*Not to be confused with “Arnold Schwartz” which is the title of a completely different blog. 

Great Building. Even Greater Shorts!

 

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2 Responses to “Arnold’s Shorts*”

  1. rich Says:

    You are in therapy, right?

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