REAL Estate, FAKE People

For years, we here at Garfield Realty we have been facing ever fiercer competition from larger firms moving into Park Slope.  When I pass by those offices, there seems to be so much hustle and bustle….and sooo many people working there.  And, although we just added Giarc (aka: “the new guy”) to our staff, having enough people present in the office has been a problem.  De’s hours time here which used to be  sporadic has now settled down to a regular 4.00 to 4.25PM.  Not much, but at least it’s something we can count on.  Knarf seems to be semi-retired (though oddly, he’s never mentioned anything to me).  And our heroine,  Zil, is in wedding mode; so for the present and for the next few months, she’s distracted.  That leaves Luap, Annaoj, “the new guy” and me to man this unwieldy ship.  And now, during the summer months with people taking all kinds of vacations, we’re down to a skeleton staff.  Keeping the ship (to continue with the bad metaphor) afloat is a challenge.   

But last week I came across an interesting article which may solve our staffing problem.  It seems that over the last number of years, in an effort to cut costs, the movie industry has been reducing its hiring of “extras”.   So, for many crowd scenes, the movie makers are using dummies as replacements.  This article featured a woman who has a studio  in New Jersey and does artwork on inflatable dummies that are used by these production companies.   She paints faces and occasionally adds wigs to some of the balloons.    

My eyes lit up when I read this.  In one fell swoop I could solve my staffing problems.  And, these ‘”people” could be in the office 24/7!!    Also, since the public seems to generally distrust real estate brokers and agents, there may be yet another ancillary benefit.  These “agents” would be totally inscrutable, probably raising the image of Garfield Realty.  And no worries whatsoever about employee benefits. My head is spinning with all sorts of possibilities.  What mix of gender and age would I like?! And what kinds of  body types?! Now, I’m getting really excited!  Of course, there may be some downside to this new regime.  I suppose to maintain the ruse, I’ll need to get an extra pizza when I buy lunch for the staff.  And sure, when I’m alone with the new hirees, there’s probably going to be those awkward silences…..but, I think I’ll be okay with that.    

Part of our Skeleton Staff (a 'close talker')

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3 Responses to “REAL Estate, FAKE People”

  1. Kitty Says:

    But who would talk to Water Boy customer service?

  2. iron(ic)man triathlon Says:

    that’s a very good point. i’m re-thinking the whole idea.

  3. Sex, Blogs And Rock ‘n Roll « Ironicman's Blog Says:

    […]  be  the time to re-visit the idea of getting a female inflatable dummy  for the office.  (https://ironicman.wordpress.com/2010/07/30/real-estate-fake-people/)  Who knows…maybe there’s a cracker jack agent somewhere out there who’s feeling […]

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