How Maya Lin Got Me Naked

I never knew that being an art lover  was such a dangerous pastime.  A few weeks back, my girlfriend, Erialc (yet another person who seeks anonymity) and I went to  the outdoor art center at Storm King in upstate New York.   The place was practically empty.  One of the exhibits we wanted to see was “Waves”, a creation by Maya Lin in some fields at the far end of the park.  We decided to hop on the tram that runs throughout the park to get to the exhibition.  As we made our way up a trail in order   to get a better look at the “Waves” , we saw some dark clouds gathering in the distance.  We ignored them and  decided to take a walk in some of the furrows of the waves and got lost in the coolness of being in the “art”.  As we exited the last furrow, a cold wind whipped up and in a matter of moments, it started pouring.    We were at least a mile from the nearest shelter so we ducked next to a stone wall hoping to wait out the storm until the tram made it’s way around to us again which was to be in about another half hour.  Then the wind shifted and the rain started coming down in cold sheets.  Flashes of lightening began  piercing the sky around us.   I’m embarrassed to say this,  but at this point, I think I started whimpering.  I was so cold and unhappy that I was more than willing to take a chance and seek some shelter under a tree.  Probably, a short-sighted solution.  

There have been times  when I’ve been caught in a rainstorm, that I easily give myself over to the idea that there’s no escape and the worst that will happen is that I’ll get really, really wet.  For some reason, this felt different…as if there was some real danger to being so exposed.  So, we remained huddled and shivering with absolutely no idea what to do.  And then from out of nowhere, a security patrol car that was picking up stranded art lovers appeared.  We dove into the rescue car and practically made love to the driver in appreciation for saving our lives.

We were dropped off at our car and waited out the storm.  As we were sitting in the car we began to more carefully read  the brochure that we had gotten when we entered the Center.  And then we saw it…a notice in capital letters, “THERE MAY BE DEER TICKS IN THE FIELDS.  APPROPRIATE CLOTHING SHOULD BE WORN TO AVOID THE POSSIBILITY OF LYME DISEASE.”   It had been hot and humid when we first arrived and we’d been going about in shorts and sandals.  I believe it’s the outfit most preferred by ticks.    So, having just gotten over staring death in the face, we now were faced with the prospect of having contracted some nefarious disease.

Since that experience, I’ve been getting naked as often as possible to have  my body checked  for both ticks and the telltale rash that is a sign of Lyme disease.   I’ll pretty much ask anyone who is willing to take a gander.  This is fine when I’m with Erialc and a little less  fine in the locker room at my tennis club.  And  it’s proving to be a lot more awkward at my office.  It seems that Luap, Knarf, Zil et al feel that it’s outside their job description.  This is a little disappointing but I guess I can understand their position.  

I’m not sure how much longer I’ll keep up this level of vigilance.  I know it’s beginning to wear on the people around me.  But, how can I prove to  myself that what I’m looking for isn’t there?  I suppose I could ask George Bush that question…no?


10 Responses to “How Maya Lin Got Me Naked”

  1. Maria Basescu Says:

    Neil, I’m thinking at this point you should just go immediately on the antibiotics….
    (But I’m happy to check you for ticks anytime.)

  2. richard Says:

    You must shave your entire body, The ticks ciuld be anywhere.

  3. bob Says:

    hmmm…Storm King…a storm. Maybe that’s how it got it’s name. When a place is named for a weather condition that might be an indication of what to expect.

    Also I’d like to share how I uncovered the cleverly cloaked names in the article.
    If you hold your computer up to a mirror while reading the blog (avoid using the medicine cabinet mirror after taking a shower as I did) the real names reveal themselves.

  4. bob Says:

    I couldn’t help noticing under the name of your blog “just another weblog.” Just another!!! You are unique. Threaten to take your blog off their site unless management adds the word “not” before that line.

  5. bob Says:

    after I submitted my last 2 comments I couldn’t help notice that next to my name it said, “your comment is awaiting moderation.” Who is moderating
    and will I get a voice in this moderation process?

    • ironicman Says:

      yes…often the comments get moderated. the moderation panel consists of a highly educated, non- partisan panel. after conferring, they pass on their recommendation to me. I run a credit check and a background check. then….i decide if i like what was written in the comment. it’s all very simple.

  6. jackie Says:

    Same thing happened to a friend and I (me? No, it’s not at the end of the sentence…unless this is an exception? As in, “I before me except after …. what?) Anyway, we went to Storm King on 7/29 and as soon as we got down to the Goldsworthy Wall, it started to pour. As you point out, there is no place to run for cover. Luckily we espied a ranger/park person, who was getting into her car and offered to give us a lift to the lift. Just went back again a couple of weeks ago and it was sublime, with no rain or ticks (I hope).

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