Mice-2, Neil-0

As they say, the score looks a lot closer than the game really was.  It was a rout. 

 I thought I was done writing about this but I made a visit to the Miata yesterday and found some really distrurbing news.    More mouse droppings inside the car.  This, despite the fact that I had left trays of mouse poison on the floor mats in the car.   One of the trays was completely empty.  Wiped clean, as if the mouse had used a piece of bread to sop up mouse gravy at the end of his meal.   No dead mice anywhere.  I was left with  a  vision of  a  cartoon mouse with a full belly rubbing his stomach with a big grin on his face.   

Maybe it’s just as well because I wasn’t really proud of the method I was using.  It felt a bit like a ‘sting’ operation with some not so subtle elements of entrapment.  If there were a mouse court,  I’m  certain that the evidence would be supressed  (I haven’t been watching Law and Order for 37 years for nothing.)  The other thing is, I can’t figure out if the mouse poison is a bait that  is actually encouraging mice who in their wildest dreams wouldn’t consider stepping foot into my car to make a visit.  Or, as I had originally thought, is the poison there for mice that are already checking out the leather upholstry and just happen to come across the trap and have a quick snack?  As I consider this, I think the former is true and I’ve been incredibly stupid and have  actually been luring the mice into my car.  I might as well have had a naked picture of Minnie Mouse hanging from the rear view mirror.  What an idiot!

So, I’m back to trying to come up with some alternative solutions.  My friend Lav (Val is a very private person.  Hence the need to conceal her identity.) has, as I have mentioned,  suggested several times to get a barn owl.  This suggestion is always followed with a sentence that starts with, “Go to Agway and …..”.  Honestly,  I don’t think I ever paid attention to how the sentence ends.  It’s  just hard for me to  imagine going up to one of the clerks in the store and asking,  “Could you tell in what aisle I’ll find the barn owls?”  Somehow I don’t think that’s the way it goes.

So,  the car stinks from mothballs and has mouse turds in too many places.  I’m starting to get really frustrated.  An idea that has recently been rattling around in my head is to wait for another program from the Obama Administration similar to  the “Cash for Clunkers” program.   Possibly…”Cash For Your Car That Although It May Be Efficient, Has Become A Mouse House”.   Talk about a stimulus program!!


5 Responses to “Mice-2, Neil-0”

  1. Jane Says:

    New Gov’t. Program for Neil Stein:
    “Remuneration for Rat Traps”
    Bottle of Hendricks included

  2. other jane Says:

    Quotes from emails from the girls staying in my loft over the summer:

    “I saw a mouse in your office so I bought a trap at Duane Reade and put it under the chair.”

    “There was a mouse last night. I think it ran into your closet. I put a trap there.”

    Do you think Duane Reade carries owls?

    • ironicman Says:

      interesting question…the duane reade on b’way and 8th has been redone and now cariries sandwiches and salads. (no fine dining as yet) so, hoo knows?…maybe owls are in their future. i’m thinking there’s market out there …’owls r’ us’ certainly has a nice ring.

      hope all is well,
      the ‘same neil’

  3. Iam Says:

    Old-fashioned snap-traps baited with peanut butter are the way to go. At least that is my method of choice when mice make their bi-annual pilgrimage to the apartment. As gruesome as snap-traps are, they are the only thing I have found to work.

    Sadly, there is never just one mouse. A family is usually 6-8 mice. Never tried an owl; I bet that would work.

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