WWMD (What Would Michelle Do)

I went to have my teeth cleaned this morning.  An ideal experience would have me lying back in the dentist chair daydreaming about some bucolic scene or having some sexual fantasy while  the hygienist pokes away at  the insides of my mouth with a sharp metal object.   Unfortunately, that rarely happens.  The woman who is working on my teeth and gums usually will start talking to me about her grandchildren.  Since I usually have tubes or some poker in my mouth, I use some eye expressions and grunts to hold up my end of the non-conversation.  Today, she added something to the mix.  She started talking about some gardening she was doing….and quickly made a right-hand turn to talk about the gardening that Michelle Obama is doing at the White House.  And then,  from out of the blue…I mean from nowhere, she says, “I hate her guts!”  She  HATES Michelle Obama’s guts.  Not, “I don’t care for her”.  Or,  “she’s not my cup of tea.”  HATES!!.  HER GUTS! She went on to elaborate on why and I think I remember the word “phony” was in there somewhere.

Now, I’m really crazy about Michelle.  An unrequited love, to be sure.   But still I knew I had to say something.  Since I was at a severe disadvantage having the tubes and pokers in my mouth,  the best I could do was garble something really lame like, “I like her”.   This seemed to head the hygienist off.  But whatever reverie I had planned for myself as she continued her work on me was not to be. 

After the cleaning, when I had full function of my tongue and lips, I thought about continuing my defense of Michelle.  Frankly, I didn’t see the point.  Was there something I could say that would turn things around…..remember she wasn’t on the fence about Ms. Obama, she HATED her.  Maybe, if I was really persuasive I could get my torturer hygienist to merely dislike  her.   But, this would have required a delicacy, a tact, that is well beyond me.  Beyond my pay grade as President Obama has said.  And also, to be absolutely honest…(and if not here, where?) I began to wonder if Michelle would make a fuss  if she heard someone bad-mouthing me.


9 Responses to “WWMD (What Would Michelle Do)”

  1. ed Says:

    I would like to ask your dental hygenist out for a drink.

    de, the only American here

  2. Jane Says:

    I would like to know how you got the line to go through the work “torturer”. That’s fantastic! Thanks for this. I MUST make an appointment to get my teeth cleaned.

    • ironicman Says:

      jane…getting that cross-out entailed going into the guts of the computer, working closely with microsoft and bill gates. i wouldn’t recommend it for non-techies.

  3. Ray Habib Says:

    Why does the vision of a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode come to mind when I read about your adventures!!

  4. Marguerite Says:

    Neil, I didn’t know you were a “techie”! By the way, Michelle gives me the creeps–don’t know why– but I’ve felt that way since the first time I saw her.

  5. Neil Basescu Says:

    Your hygienist is not my cup of tea. In fact, I hate her guts. And to think she spends the whole day stuffing people’s mouths just so they can’t rebutt her little idiocies. HATE!! HER GUTS!

  6. David Says:

    Not sure these Obama haters haven’t crossed some line of sanity. Maybe you need a new hygienist, just to be on the safe side. btw, I’ve enjoyed these blogs.

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